10 Hilarious Conspiracy Theories

10 Hilarious Conspiracy Theories 10 Adam Sandler predicted the Future Visions, foresight and prognostication are conspiracy theory catnip

Everyone from the Simpsons to the X Files’ Lone Gunmen have been pegged as modern day Nostradamus' with insider knowledge of future catastrophes, mostly based on eerie coincidence So in 2014, The Onion’s sister site Clickhole used that phenomenon as the basis for a typically goofy satire about how the works of Adam Sandler predicted some of the most notable events of recent years That includes the standup line “something’s coming to Waco Something Dark” in reference to the 1993 Waco siege and an SNL sketch warning of the missing Malaysia Airlines flight 370

By the way, none of these were real Now, you might be thinking that a spoof website post isn’t a conspiracy, but in this case fiction became fact At least that’s for some on the internet who began sharing the story as real on social media and even discussing it on forums Weirdest of all, it made its way to the white nationalist website Stormfront, which began discussing Sandler’s insider jewish knowledge If there’s one thing better than tricking fools, it’s tricking nazis

9 Denver Airport is Satanic Everyone hates travelling, let alone travel hubs like airports But imagine being so disliked that people to consider you a Satanic hotspot Or maybe it’s just the internet being the internet Either way, Denver Airport has amassed a wide range of theories about its links to all things evil, in everything from its initial construction to the decor throughout the building

One of the most common causes for concern comes from the Blue Mustang, a statue of a cobalt horse with glowing red eyes that fell on and killed its sculptor, Luis Jiménez I can’t blame people for being suspicious at that, but it goes to a whole new level when you speak to the supposed “third eagle of the apocalypse”, AKA Bible prophecy peddler William Tapley According to Tapley, the airport is a monument to Satanism on account of the supposed phallic symbols throughout the site, including the uh… label on this penguin exhibit Some even believe that the airport was designed as a concentration camp, which isn’t so much ‘haha’ funny as ‘horrifying that people would think that’ funny, but still – funny? 8 Saddam had Stargates Middle East conflicts are an ongoing source of contention among historians, pundits and, of course, your uncle at Thanksgiving dinner

And while most sane conversations surround whether it was right to go in or when to pull out, along with a few rumblings of corporate motives, this is something else entirely So-called Exo-political researchers like Michael Salla believe the 2003 Iraq war has its roots in ancient Sumeria, where there’s evidence that extraterrestrials bestowed advanced technology on the civilisation Yep, we’re talking ancient aliens One piece of tech was supposedly star gates, which allow matter to travel instantaneously between sites spanning galactic lengths – you know, uh… like the TV show Salla believes that Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein began restoring the site of one such gate in the 1980s and was getting ready to release information about it by 2003, which, you guessed it, led to a conflict where the US still has a presence after 15 years

Many stargate truthers even believe that WWII was fought over control of the gates Next you’ll be telling me Vietnam was fought over an infinity stone 7 The Beatles Never Existed Music and celebrity conspiracies aren’t at all hard to find, whether it’s Avril Lavigne’s death and subsequent clone replacement or the belief that Jay Z is a time travelling illuminati vampire And as likely the biggest band in history, the Beatles are obviously no exception to the trend, with the long running idea that Paul McCartney was replaced after dying in a car crash

But that’s not even the weirdest fab four fan theory According to a now-defunct website called “The Beatles Never Existed”, well, the Beatles Never Existed Instead, the site’s former curators went to a great deal of trouble to research how the four Liverpool lads were actually a constructed and rotating set of characters That’s mostly through investigations into things like height, eyebrow and ears, which apparently change shape and appearance throughout the band’s history But weirder still, the site goes way beyond actors as the explanation

It specifically references the possibility of “simulacra,” “cloning,” “synthetic humans,” and “robotoids” All I can say is I’m impressed by the creativity 6 Trump Is A Time Traveller Donald J Trump has been many things over the years: property mogul, TV star, president… but as unlikely as that last one was, it’s not a scratch on the bizarre claim that he’s a time traveller

The story begins in 2000, where an forum poster purported themselves to be a time traveller named John Titor They claimed that they were on the way back from a trip to 1975 from the year 2038 in a time machine that sounded awfully similar to a certain 80s blockbuster Along with supposed “proof”, Titor made a series of dark predictions, including that 2004 would be the last Olympics and that there would be another US Civil war in 2008 The warnings were largely dismissed as hoaxes and fully debunked when they all proved false over time, but Titor zapped back into conspiracy conversations when lightning struck Trump Tower in Chicago Some saw that as a remote link between Titor and a separate theory that Trump’s uncle, John Trump, was given plans to Tesla’s time machine by the man himself

Some even take that to mean Trump IS Titor 5 The Mandela Effect Memory is a pretty fragile thing Even without problems like dementia or amnesia, the human brain is prone to inventions, distortions and reframing called confabulations That’s generally because memory is thought be constructive rather than reproductive, meaning that we create elements of our recollections spontaneously

However, there are circles of the internet that refuse to accept their minds’ fallibility Instead, they’ve decided that collisions with another timeline have changed reality and led to common misconceptions It’s been dubbed the Mandela Effect after Fiona Broome, who discovered the common misconception that the South African president died in prison The most popular example of the Mandela Effect is probably the children’s book series the Berenstain Bears, which is often misspelled as the BerenSTEIN Bears Some believers in the theory even think that the name was changed as part of an anti-semitic conspiracy

Then there’s even more trivial examples like “Luke I am Your Father” and “We Are The Champions” You know, I have to wonder why colliding timelines mostly just deal with pop culture… 4 Time Cube This bizarre concept was first espoused online in 1997 by an inventor named Gene Ray, who just happened to have patented the game of Marbles Now, I could try to explain to you what this theory actually is, but no one really knows, since the website was renowned as one of the most incomprehensible walls of text on the net But in any case, Gene wrote that each day on earth was actually four days based around ""sun up"", ""midday"", ""sun down"" and ""midnight"", each with their own time zones, which he wrote repeatedly with clarity ranging from muddy to downright indecipherable

He even offered the scientific world $10,000 to prove him wrong, at his discretion of course All of that came with ravings about being the greatest thinker of all time, a conspiracy to stupify the world’s children with “ONEism” and unfortunately a lot of racial politics His treatise is as dizzying as it is hilarious, but no-one knows if this infamous corner of the web is a joke, a god complex or a sign of a man with genuine problems 3 Apple Pay Is Satanic People are generally pretty skeptical of corporations and the speed of new technology

It’s understandable given the potential for surveillance that comes along with modern data gathering capabilities However, some of the more paranoid elements of christian forums, and not to mention the infamous infowarscom, got the impression that the evils of technology aren’t exactly human According to believers, when Apple introduced its Apple pay system in 2014, it was actually the introduction of the foretold “mark of the beast” from the book of revelations The passage states that people “will be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark

” Oh, and anyone who refuses will be killed, but the buying and selling seems to be the headline Hey, that’s capitalism! Some biblical conspiracy theorists have even tied Apple’s satanic roots back to their first computer, which was priced at $666 dollars 33% markups be damned, it’s SATAN 2 Donut Earth Flat Earth theory is one of, if not the most obviously comedic pseudo-scientific conspiracy theory

Everything from the bogus equations to the celebrity endorsements to the idea that it’s a NASA-led cover up But unfortunately, it’s become so widespread that its a kind of self-parody and most people know the joke However, luckily for you, there are plenty of other non-spheroid earth theories out there and the Donut Earth might be the best of the all Also known as the Toroidal Earth, this theory was first floated on flat earth forums around 2008, then gained further traction in 2012 when user ‘Varaug’ posted an in-depth explanation of his concept According to Varaug, the reason we can’t see the hole is that light bends around it

For anyone interested in real science, that means the earth would have properties comparable to a black hole Come to think of it, that makes sense given the state of 2018 It even included this literally incredible passage: “Imagine a donut Imagine a jam donut Gravity acts towards the jam

” Well that’s that cleared up 1 Gay Frogs You’ve probably heard of this one on account of its source, the poster-child for anti-liberal, anti-logic, anti-rational ravings about the most absurd topics, from “pizzagate” to Sandy Hook Yes, Alex Jones But despite the floods of dangerous rhetoric, most people know Jones for his nonsensical rant about “gay bombs” and “chemicals in the water turning the freaking frogs gay”

Jones even made the completely unsubstantiated claim that 70% of frogs are now homosexual Now that’s patently absurd and obviously nonsense, since there’s no evidence to suggest anything other than that so-called “gay bombs” don’t exist However, you might be interested to know that there is the tiniest grain of half-truth in the infamous outburst According to Gizmodo, the Sunshine Project NGO found that in 1994 the US Air Force Wright Laboratory made funding proposals for non-lethal chemical weapons Those included “bad breath bombs”, “flatulence bombs” and, yes, “gay bombs”

Unsurprisingly to anyone rational, the proposal never made it off the ground, since it’s pretty silly and a monumental waste of $75 million, but at least it led to one of the funniest on-screen tyrades in recent memory

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